in 2004 bell hooks wrote a book titled The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. Here’s a quote from the first chapter.
“If we cannot heal what we cannot feel, by supporting patriarchal culture that socializes men to deny feelings, we doom them to live in states of emotional numbness. We construct a culture where male pain can have no voice, where male hurt cannot be named or healed. It is not just men who do not take their pain seriously, most women do not want to deal with male pain if it interferes with the satisfaction of female desire. When feminist movement led to men’s liberation, including male exploration of feelings, some women mocked male emotional expression with the same disgust and contempt as sexist men. Despite all of the expressed feminist longing for men of feeling, when men work to get in touch with their feelings, no one really wanted to reward them. In feminist circles, men who wanted to change were often labeled narcissistic, or needy. Individual men who expressed feelings were often seen as attention seekers, patriarchal manipulators trying to steal the stage with their drama. “
